


Shopping Hell

by RedxRobin



Series: Timkon Future AU [8]
Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: Annoying Kids, M/M, Pantsing, Timkon, Xmas fic, absolute chaos, not theirs though he's a sweetheart, tim's still babyfaced, timkon as dads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:22:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21886612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedxRobin/pseuds/RedxRobin
Summary: Tim, Conner and their son Danny are stuck at Walmart during the late holiday shopping season. Chaos ensues.
Relationships: Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent
Series: Timkon Future AU [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1688755
Comments: 4
Kudos: 60





	Shopping Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Totally quick xmas fic for the holidays. Hope you enjoyed. 
> 
> EDIT: Kyra was a later addition that I had to explain why she wasn't there.

Tim was sure he was in hell. Here he was, standing in the middle of Walmart during the Metropolis back-to-school week, which was during the Christmas break so the entire floor was crawling with desperate parents hounding their children while clamping onto books and clothes. Tim’s own son Daniel has run off most likely to look at the toys. Whereas his husband Conner was supposed to just get some clothes but now has to find the 10-year-old on the way. With his cart right beside him with various books and equipment, as well as several gifts for family and friends, Tim huddled onto the side on an aisle as a desperate father tried to control his screaming child throwing items off shelves. He sure was glad his teenage daughter Kyra had other plans tonight with friends... 

“Kids am I right?” said the struggling father half-drowned out by the wails “I’m sure your parents are doing the same with your little brother or sister” 

Truth was Tim was in his late 20’s, but somehow looked like a high schooler to a lot people. Doesn’t help he was the same height as some of the middle schoolers walking around, with a little baby-face to match. Which was odd, he was a minor celebrity in Gotham, but somehow gets unrecognized in Metropolis or Smallville, which was always a breath of fresh air. But hopefully someday he’ll stop being mistaken for his own son’s older brother. 

At long last Conner comes around the corner, one buff arm carrying a pile of clothes, a defeated brunette child in the other over his shoulder. Conner himself looked tired, eyes looking lazily and walking slowly as he approached his husband’s cart. 

“Hey big guy” said Tim with a slight smirk as soon as he reached him. 

“Excuse me sir, I think you lost this” replied Conner breathing out and turning to the side so Tim can see the face of their son who was clutching a small Lego set. At least it was a small one this time.

“My hero” Tim chuckled reaching up to stroke Conner’s cheek and turned to the boy “Daniel, please don’t run away like that again. There’s too many people here to mess around” 

“Sorry daddy” said Danny with a bashful smile. 

“It’s alright champ. Here, I’ll get you that Lego set if you promise not to run off again” Tim ruffled his hair like everyone usually does to him before Conner put him down “How’d you go on your mission?” Conner sighed and passed the clothes to Tim one-by-one. 

“Well I tripped over a screaming girl, pretty sure I saw Condiment King and Top shopping together, and a boy tried to rip my shirt for some reason. The white button ups were nearly all gone so he’ll only have just two. I got the pack of 9 white briefs for both of you just in case, Kyra's fine with the ones she has but I got her new skirt I think is her size, a couple packs of socks for them both and he said he liked these shoes even though he really wanted the light up ones” 

“They had wheels!” Danny chimed in with a grin looking up from the Lego box he was analyzing. Behind him a little girl ran with a scooter into a poster box, knocking it over. . 

“Wow, really? Didn’t know they still made them” Tim replied “You know, I could find my old pair though” 

“Hmm, you could. They haven’t aged much apparently, kinda like you” said Conner smirking “But maybe Santa will get him the wheelies”

“Really? Please tell him daddy!” Danny put the box under his elbow to hold his arms up together in a begging motion. Complete with puppy-dog eyes. 

“I’ll send him a note” said Conner with a wink and a hair ruffle, before turning to Tim “So what you got babe?” 

“School supplies mainly, and a headache” Tim replied shuffling items in his cart “Found matching sweaters for Dick and Wally, the new Batman model for Cass, art supplies for Kyle’s new project, and Cassie a Wonder Woman choker, they finally have her colours”

“Well, that can go with these Flash boxers for Bart” said Conner with the remaining clothes in his hand, they were red with the Flash logo along with the words “Back in a Flash!” 

“Very funny, chuck them in” replied Tim giggling to himself as he passed them into the cart, and grabbed the lego set from Danny and held it “I guess that’s everyone sorted now, the best thing to come out of billionaire fathers- wha?!” He felt a cool breeze on his legs as a 6 year old boy grabbed the Lego set from his hands after pantsing him. The boy started laughing and pointing, before sticking out his tongue. Conner got annoyed and helped Tim pull up his pants to cover his Superman briefs while the kid froze on the spot. They both looked between the boy to Danny, who was staring intensely at him. A woman carrying a screaming baby in her arms rushed over to them. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry young man!” she said sweaty and exhausted, grabbing her son’s arm “He’s been pulling pranks on everyone here just because they had what he wanted. Tying shoe laces, pantsings, trippings, ripping shirts, you name it” Conner looked at Tim with a raised eyebrow at that comment. 

“It’s fine, it’s fine” replied Tim still red “No one was hurt, just can we have the Lego set back please? My son really wanted it”

“Oh! Here you go, sorry” the woman said seizing the box from her son’s hands and putting it in TIm’s cart “Saw the whole thing and rushed over. Take care, Super family” She walked off dragging her son with her, and Tim looked at Conner, who burst into laughter. 

“Stop laughing! It’s not that funny!”

“It’s not, it's way more hilarious!” he responded in between breaths, Tim looked at Danny who was picking the Lego box back up, trying to hide a giggle under a cringe. 

“Can we just forget this happened?” said Tim trying to breathe “I hate coming here, there’s never a more wretched hive of scum and villainy” 

“Ok nerd, we’ll pretend a good chunk of your wardrobe isn’t from here” Tim fake laughed and turned to Danny.

“Danny, thanks but I don’t want you to use your telekinesis in public, ok?” he said to the boy who was visibly a little upset. 

“I’m sorry daddy” he said sniffling a little “Just that kid was really mean to you and daddy, and I wanted to help”

“I know, and I really appreciate it” Tim rubbed his shoulder affectionately “I am kinda used to the teasing, brings back memories” he heard his husband snort behind him “I love you so much Danny”

“I love you too daddy” Danny hugged Tim with a short but tight squeeze, he had his father’s strength. Said father was smiling immensely at the pair. 

“Ok kiddo, ready to go?” Danny looked up at Conner with a small smile. 

“Yeahh…” He nodded a little disappointed and he tossed the Lego set into the cart.

“Hey, we’ll get you those light up shoes, don’t worry” Tim said earnestly, rubbing his son’s shoulder, bringing him into him so the same angry mother rushing past to stop another crime didn’t hit him. Or rather she would’ve just be rebounded backwards. 

“Can we go over to Uncle Dick and Uncle Wally’s house?” it was a soft whine that Tim was all too used to. 

“You’ll see them on Christmas day, don’t worry” he replied “I know you want to see Jai and Iris, but Bludhaven’s snowed in till the 23rd” Danny’s face seemed to breathe out. 

“Okay…” he sighed. Tim ruffled his hair again and looked to Conner, before hearing a voice across the aisles. 

“Conner Kent, is that you?” came the voice, belonging to who Tim recognized from a photograph as Lana Lang. She pulled her shopping cart over to them, dodging two twins fighting over an action figure. 

“Miss Lang! How are you?” said Conner with an uncharacteristically awkward smile “Haven’t seen you in years!”

“Oh fine, fine. Just shopping for the grandkids” she replied with a sarcastic chuckle “I see you’re doing the same for your sons…?” There it is again “Though aren’t you quite young for them to be that old?” 

“Oh! Yeah about that” said Conner ruffling both Tim and Daniel’s hair before rubbing Tim’s shoulder “This is my husband actually, Tim Wayne-Kent” Tim nervously laughed and struck out his hand to meet Lana’s.

“Wayne? My, you have done well” said Lana shaking it “I’m so terribly sorry, Tim. I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you. You’ve aged wonderfully, you do look quite like your son, as if you were brothers” 

“Yeah, it was just lucky I guess” Tim replied, trying hard to continue the nervous laugh “We adopted him, but he just strangely looks like us” Tim guessed genetic clone births when your boyfriend died before getting resurrected wasn’t really that common quite yet to go in detail. Lana looked further down to Danny. 

“Hello little one, my name’s Lana” she struck out her hand “I’m friends with your grandpa, and looked after your father from time to time” Danny eagerly returned the handshake. 

“Hello! My name’s Daniel Wayne-Kent, it’s a pleasure to meet you” Tim has tried to teach him proper manners with meeting new people and they have seemed to have paid off. 

“Isn’t he a little sweetheart?!” replied Lana with a warm grin “You must be really proud”

“We are super proud of him” said Conner ruffling his hair "We also have a daughter, Kyra, she's out with friends free from this chaos" 

“Danny's going to start school very soon. He’s been homeschooled for two years” Tim added, Danny needed a fast-track course of Earth knowledge before attending a normal school “He’s already expressed interest in sport and drawing”

“Well, I’m happy for you both. I’m happy you found each other and your little bundles of joy” said Lana with a warm smile “Any plans for the holidays?”

“Uh, lunch with my folks” Conner answered while Tim held onto Danny’s collar to stop him from wandering off “Then dinner with the Wayne’s, and that extensive family. Wayne’s, Kent’s, West’s, Anders, Gordon’s. It was a big table last year” 

“Yes, but before then we’re gonna have a party with work friends” Tim added, work friends was one way to describe them “And another on Boxing day, and another of New Year’s” 

“Sounds like a busy time” said Lana still smiling “I’m just having a quiet dinner with family. Which I better see to it and you, take care” 

“You too! Jinx!” they both chuckled at that old habit, before Conner put his arm around Tim.

“So, champ, do want a Lego set?” Conner said mockingly to Tim as he ruffled his hair. 

“Stop it haha! I swear I’ll finish puberty someday” replied Tim laughing as he tried to get Conner’s big hand off him. 

“Hmm, doubt it” laughed Conner in response. He let Tim go and crouched down to meet Danny’s eye level. “Got everything you want kiddo?” 

“Uh-uh, now I just gotta wait” Danny said as he breathed out with exhaustion clutching the box. Poor thing wasn’t a fan of the whole standing around for too long or waiting for things he’s currently holding. A tattooed man was being held down by security with several watches under his arm at the end of the aisles. 

“Yeah, we can’t let you open it yet I’m afraid” said Conner trying to distract the boy “But lucky enough, we had our special present already opened for a couple years”, now it was Danny’s turn to blush and be shy much like his father. Conner smiled and ruffled his brown hair before standing up. 

“You’re such a sap” said Tim smiling, which Conner in turned smiled and leaned down to kiss him. Danny stuck out his tongue, while other families were too busy fighting with their children to notice Tim returning the kiss. 

“It’s because you made me this way” replied Conner pulling out of the kiss, before giving Tim an armpit taser followed by a small tug on the back of his briefs waistband “You’re still fun to tease though” Seems like he hasn’t grown up much either. Tim blushed with a smirk. Not now, they were in Walmart… with their son who picked up the Lego box again. Conner touched Tim’s hip towards his butt as he moved to push the cart himself. He moved his hand to hold Tim’s shoulder, who had his on the back of Danny’s shoulder, leading to the now chaotic cashiers. Stopping dead in their tracks, all three boys groaned in unison. 

“This is why we shop in November” 


End file.
